The first photo you see is one of my favorite quotes, “It’s not the load that weighs you down, it’s the way you carry it.”. I truly believe it. We all have have things we carry in our hearts and in our brains. Some things we carry can bring us joy and laughter but I really feel the quote pertains to those loads that may break us if we are not careful. How do we carry our loads, do we drag them swearing the whole time? Yes, sometimes we have to. Do we swing them up on our shoulder and say to ourselves, “I got this, I can carry this one-even for a long time?”, sure we do. Do we sometimes carry it for a short time, set it down to rest and pause and then keep on carrying? Yes, I believe we do all of those. Which leads me to a true story about carrying and loads.
I recently went to a workout session at our local track with our board members Sarah and Lisa and our sandbags. We do that sometimes. On this Sunday we had talked about paddle boarding after or some more outdoor time when Sarah throws out, “We could take the bags and hike up M Hill”. I about threw up in my mouth, I kid you not. Lazy paddle boarding or HIKING up a hill with our without a sandbag- hiking is not my thing, ask Lisa. I of course said sure because I always like a challenge and doing things that are hard are good for us, AND I am competitive and hate being the quitter in any group. Sarah then said, “We can switch off sandbags, because holy cow Cher’s is waaaayyy heavier then ours”. With that we piled in the car and away we went.
We start the climb and do a small hill with our personal bag and when we get to the next incline Sarah says switch and she precedes to carry my heavy bag to the top. We switch again and Lisa carries my heavy bag all the way down. Now this is not a story about physical accomplishment or even teamwork. This story is a metaphor/symbolism with a connection to something bigger. And do feel shame that I carried my own bag the least amount of time? Nope, and here is why:
It is also about WHO helps us carry our load and sometimes without even asking and then, LETTING them. See, on these Sunday’s we often share our fears about the loads we have and it feels SO good to put them out there, to have someone else hear it and say “Ugggggg, that is bad” or “I am sorry”, or often just nod and say nothing at all. It is OK to say I am struggling and I need someone else to support me for awhile. We have to be able to let someone help us with our load and how we carry it so it doesn’t break us. This day it happened both physically and emotionally, and it always feels so damn good after.
That is part of my work here and my wish for people who read my ramblings-because they truly are that. When we are trying to navigate better mental health or dealing with a mental health crisis of a loved one the load can be so damn heavy and we are afraid to reach out, embarrassed to share or to prideful. We don’t have time for that nonsense friends. EVER
I hope you think about how you carry that load and what support you might need, and find a who or two along the way that will lift your burden from your heart and brain, even if just for a few minutes. Let them.
